colonoscopies are so much FUN. said no one ever.

colonoscopy-prep1 down and 15 more to go. SIXTEEN. is the number of cups I need to drink of this NOT VERY GOOD “colon cleanser”. I wish the makers of this crap would just leave the “flavour”  out. A sorry attempt at strawberry and as far as I’m concerned it makes the taste that much worse. and it’s slimy. like thick slimy. and I wanna cryyyyyyyyy. OMG

yuck. yuck. YUCK.

Colonoscopies are kinda my thing. [because I have colitis.] so I feel like I should be a pro at this. tomorrow’s scope will probably be number 7 I think?!  but this stupid prep is different than all the times before. last time I got to use Pico Salax. which involved me mixing a pack of powder in to 5 ounces (ONLY) of water. times two. so two cups versus SIXTEEN cups. and this ‘new’ stuff cost me $40! I have to pay to be tortured?  okay, not tortured, but it’s really really not going so great. (i’ve just finished downing glass number 6 and I am feeling like a big baby. OMG. the slime. I can’t handle it) they also warn that it will cause nausea. so I’m sipping on my homemade honey ginger tea.  [grate some ginger in a tea infuser, pour some boiling water in, let sit for 15 mins, add 1 big tsp. scoop of honey and voila! delish]

so for all you colonoscopy rookies, this is what’s up for a colonoscopy prep:

the day before the scope (which is today), I can’t have any solid foods – only clear fluids are allowed: clear broth, white grape juice, ginger ale, Jell-o (no red/purple). so I had my bone broth for breakfast, lunch and dinner. and my honey ginger tea in between. I attempted Jell-O. so I pretty much starved all day.  I added turmeric to the bone broth cause I can’t live without it – hopefully that doesn’t stain my intestines. (they say no purple or red Jell-O for that reason) and turmeric stains bad. my toothbrush learned that the hard way :P

starting at 6pm tonight I had to take two laxative pills and start the drink from hell. Colyte. 1 cup every 15 mins. 4 freakin litres. at this point I’m behind 15 mins because I want to barf just thinking about it. I am chasing it with a couple sips of juice, so that is helping a bit. this will go on until 10pm. SIXTEEN TIMES. flippin’ stupid.

I was excited to eat some green Jell-o today cause I don’t remember the last time I had Jell-O. I had about 4 bites and then my tummy said no and started getting a headache. probably cause my system is not used to getting spoonfuls of pure sugar.

anyway, I was eating Jell-O for a reason. I’m trying something new for my prep this year and making sure I’m consuming sugar. which is not a normal practice for me because sugar is evil. anyway. I decided that I need sugar for my colonoscopy prep and here’s why: (and I really hope I’m right)

The last two times I’ve had a colonoscopy I end up fainting when they put the IV in me. the first time it happened I had no idea why. so when I went in for my last scope (about 2 and half years ago) I told the nurse that I had fainted the time before and to please make sure whoever puts in my IV knows what they’re doing. (I’m pretty sure she just thought I was a sissy scared of needles. which is not the case. I HATE getting needles but not to the point where I faint.)  anyway. sure enough the nurse who came to put my IV in was fishing for my vein and needed another nurse to come and help her. the next thing I know I’m waking up to 5 nurses hovered over me, one pounding on my chest, trying to make me come back-to. done like dinner. and t’s the worst feeling when you wake up from passing out. nauseous, ready to throw up, temperature’s all whacked. then soon after I’m put under for the colonoscopy.

now that it’s happened twice I’m wondering if it has something to do with my blood sugar levels.  by the time they put the IV in I hadn’t really had any sugar since 36 hours prior to that – cause I’m only allowed clear fluids the day before.  All I remember was having broth broth and more broth and avoiding sugar drinks cause it’s not my thing.  So this time, I got some juices and Jell-O and have been having the honey with my ginger tea. loadin’ me up with some sugar baby!! FINGERS CROSSED this will keep me from fainting tomorrow!!!

AND. I’m FINALLY out of this flare [jenna did a big fat dance party yesterday morning].

for those reading that have a colonoscopy coming up, rest assured that the colonoscopy is the easy part!! I’d even go as far as saying it’s FUN compared to the fricken prep.

that is all. WISH ME LUCK that I don’t faint tomorrow.

lots of love,

-me

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