ZERO FOX GIVEN cause it’s international day of HAPPY!

[[International Day of Happiness is March 20th. ] 

I’m not letting anything get in the way of my happy…So today I decided I’m GOING IN that gosh darn pool! Cause holy smokes was it HOT. I should be avoiding [chlorinated]pools like the plague. but I went for it :)    I feel like we always need an exception to the rule. (especially on vacation) Right? Like today. It’s been 3 days straight  of 95 degrees and I’ve holded out for this long from getting in that pool. But today I’m like, FOX IT.  And plus. my DAD was in the pool. I think I can count on one hand how many times in my 29 years that I’ve had an opportunity to swim with my dad! So there. Definitely worth it. It’s important to not get hung up on the rules ALL OF THE TIME.  So we do what makes us happy. AND THAT’S OKAy ;-) [not to say that staying within my restrictions makes me unhappy. Cause that’s definitely not the case. I’m quite happy with my lifestyle + grateful to know what the tools are to keep me feeling well and in remission.]. I’m just using today’s ‘happiness day’ as an excuse to get an extra bit of happy ;-)


When I was in the pool I was cringing just thinking of all the chlorine soaking in to my body LOL (it’s destroying all the good bacteria in my intestines). but I was only in there for about 10 mins so hopefully I didn’t  too much damage. Probably not any more damage than this snack and wine I’m having right now :P

So for my fellow #ibdfighters here’s what’s up with my snack (pictured above):

I’ve got lime flavoured bean ‘tortilla’ chips. (I’m trying to make a little bit more of an effort to stay away from corn. but when I don’t at the LEAST I make sure it’s non-gmo) beans are legumes and legumes contain phytic acid, lectins blah blah blah…so always in moderation with legumes is best for me. Definitely not a staple in my diet. I guess it’s a good thing I’m not vegan. I’m trying hard to avoid soytoo.  Then there’s the salsa.. And tomatos are a damn nightshade.  This is a tough one for me to stay away from.(and a new elimination food for me) Especially in the summer…who doesn’t love taco chips and salsa? (When I do have salsa it’s usually organic) And then there’s my fav. RED WINE. (organic as much as I can). Gosh I love my wine and cheese. and this cheese is DAIRY,  yes, and I’ve been off dairy for the last 12 years. the only cow’s milk cheese I will cheat on is UNPASTEURIZED, ORGANIC cheese.

So back to happiness.  I got to play tennis this mornin’!! which made me a happy girl.  It kicked my butt, but it was awesome. I hadn’t played for over two years. (can’t believe I got my dad out on the court. first time EVER.  Insert another happy face here)

I feel like I’m often taking note of the things that make me happy. I am usually always mindful of the things and moments that make me happy. And often enough it’s the super simple stuff. Like waking up and seeing the sun. Or noticing the friendly smiling bus driver. AND it’s the things that matter… like spending time with my family.  I’m in a constant state of gratitude towards my happiness, which in turn ends up yielding me more happy, I think? Cause like attracts like. Right? It’s no secret. ;-)

How many people out there make it a priority to have happy in their every day life? Who else fights a battle with colitis (or anything for that matter) yet still remains happy? I know I’m not the only one.  Talking about this reminds me of a friend who recently kicked cancer’s butt. From his diagnosis, thru the ups and downs, he kept such a positive attitude and I am so proud of him for that. The last thing we want to do is stress about our shitty (:P) diseases. It just adds to the problem. and I know, easier said than done. But it’s worth the effort to get there.

I value happiness. It’s something that I make a priority in my life. And when I’m not happy, I do whatever it takes to get me back there.  And that doesn’t mean there’s no room for sadness and pain. We’re allowed to be happy and sad at the same time. In fact it’s an emotional state that I appreciate and value because I don’t think everyone can get there. Maybe it’s only ever happy OR sad for some?! I dunno. But my thoughts on happiness go on and on so I will save them for another post. ‘It’s better to feel pain than nothing at all.’ I LOVE that line and song by The Lumineers, Stubborn Love.

Okay, two things before I go:

how cute is that fox mug!! :P. Amazon showed it to me when I was buying my Boswellia extract supplements aka my FAV: Frankinsence (it’s for inflammation. and worth checking out especially if you have arthritis or joint pain.)

And to my Arizona pals, how the heck do you guys survive the 100+ heat in the summer!!!!? Common’ up to Lake of the Woods, Canada, my darlings. We’ll treat you to some perfect summer weather up in God’s country ;-)

Bye for now. xo.


fun, eventful, weekend. living life!

holy bleep did I just make a big freakin mess of my kitchen! but man did I make a masterpiece for dinner. I enjoy pinning recipes / food + beverage ideas on my  pinterest board ‘Bon Appetite’  and tonight’s meal was inspired by spaghetti squash chow mien + egg roll in a bowl . actually the idea to make this came from the left over cabbage I had from the sauerkraut I made this afternoon.  and then I used the pinterest recipes as my guide. and it was faily easy! though you’d prob wonder if you saw my kitchen?!

live-a-great-story-blog

so this is what I did: I threw the spaghetti squash in the oven,  fried up some ground turkey with onion flakes, garlic, salt / pepper. fried up the cabbage, shredded carrots + red onions. then made my sauce: extra virgin olive oil, garlic, ginger + coconut aminos [i’m really trying hard to limit soy in my diet. cause hormones].and garnished with green onions.

so now that dinner is done I’m having some cravings for the damn cookie dough I made yesterday. i’m trying hard not to have any because I’ve been cheating a little too much lately. testing myself. pushing the envelope, eating things that I should not be eating. like POTATOES. OR. eating lots of something I should really only be eating in moderation. like…. cookie dough. and wine. I maybe drank too much wine last last Friday and then again this past Friday. BUT, I feel like i’ve been managing my stress levels well and I’ve definitely increased my gym visits. so no flare-ups allowed!

cheese. I also had some cheese on Friday. cause wine. too much wine. in fact it was a child’s third birthday party, ha. but that’s our fam. and we do fun.
my sweet birthday boy, Mason, helped aunty make her special pizza. while everyone else ate 222222222222. and I can guarantee mine was SO. MUCH. BETTER. in the yummy sense and health-wise. (obviously).  >>insert some reader’s eye-rolls here<<     lol. it’s okay.

love-life-pizza-wine

so, yes! a great, busy, fun-filled  weekend was had….

kate’s place / maseman’s bday party on Friday night with all my favourite people. {well some were missing, yes}. yesterday I did a lot of work with just believe and this blog… been working on my next post about SALT. then my mom and I hit up the parade of homes yesterday. I made my fav cookie dough. [which, yes, dammit, I am eating now.]
today I had no one to get my butt to church so I just attended online :) ..did lots of house chores and some packing cause i’m gonna be flyin’ high again soon. finally got to making my  sauerkraut. now it has to ferment for 6 days. then started step 1 of another batch of my sprouted /fermented homemade bread. and I am still so excited about the yummy dinner I threw together. I think my mama mia over at the mia cucina blog would be impressed ;-)

it’s also worth mentioning that today I woke up to two really sweet / encouraging / motivating / inspiring / comments here on the blog. from STRANGERS. so that is always exciting. thank you to those who take the time to give me feedback. it really means a lot and makes a difference because sometimes it’s easy to get off track or get caught in the ‘what if’ thoughts. lose confidence. get scared of putting myself out there. worried about what others will think etc. etc. I guess this blog is good practice to get away from that fear. get me some thicker skin. feel the fear and do it anyway. right, Bax? lol. his expression here cracks me up.

feel-the-fear-and-do-it-anyway
this is my boy, baxter, and he’s the best.

so that is all. thanks for being here! and somebody come take this cookie dough away from me.

lots of love. ciao. xo

calm and peace can always be found at the lake

back to April…

last week started off not so good for my brain and heart.  sadness and anger and worry hogged the majority of my thoughts. and this time I can’t blame it [these feelings] on a lack of Vitamin B (or so I thought). without going in to detail about what happened, a few different things just added up [from sad thoughts, to mean people, to worry and anger and back to sadness] and gave me a sucky Monday. AND it was still cloudy after a weekend full of clouds and cold and wind. at some point tho the sun did come out cause I remember it when I took a breather and walked to the Thrift store on my lunch. I guess my mind was too distracted to notice  that I had stormed out of the office without my purse. #damnit.

Tuesday I woke up feeling very depressed about all the new thoughts Monday had given me. and of course what you throw out in to the universe… the law of attraction, and all that magic, it’s very very real. sooooo > > > one bad thought leads to the next bad thought and one spilled smoothie splattered all over leads to your crabbiness about your blush colour looking horrible and you messing up your eye liner. and running too late to worry about garbage day and the litter box is full and oh! okay, lets miss the bus by 5 seconds. and kaBAM we’re playing a wicked game of dominos. oh and yay, more clouds. by the time I was almost at work standing at an intersection waiting to cross the street, I was fighting hard to hold back some tears. at that point I was sad and angry for being sad and angry. and then, like meant-to-be kinda stuff , this old rough looking homely man with a cane came hobbling towards me and as he crossed in front of my path he looked over to me and said, ‘GOOOOD MORNING! Can we get a smile! (???)’  and it completely overwhelmed me with [more unneeded] emotion. I gave him a half-big smile just as it was my turn to cross the street. I made it to my desk just in time for the tears to start flowing. I was incredibly moved by the old-man-smile moment, sad about Monday’s thoughts and the clouds and also mad that I was even crying and feeling all this crap in the first place!!! the old man thing was a huge moment to me because, one > i’m usually always smiling. two > he doesn’t even  know that i’m having a sucky day. and three. > strangers don’t usually blurt things out to other strangers, so the chance of that happening to me in the state that I was in…. was a big ‘woah’ for me.

anyway, maybe hard to understand but that moment shook me back in to perspective. I was still crummy for the rest of the day but at least mindful about trying to fight to get out of it. this too shall pass. or so I thought.

later that evening I was going through my journal and reading some old entries as some sort of therapy I guess and I came across a post that actually put me at peace for a moment. I guess maybe it brought me back to my exact feelings in that exact moment. and I was there again. and I felt GOOD.

peace-and-calm-at-the-lake

Wednesday rolled along and with it brought a lot of good things to be happy about. nothing in particular…
the SUN, for one. frick YES.
international pink day and an excuse to wear the brightest pink shirt I have. + pink popcorn. he he. of course NOT to eat tho.
great workout at the gym – it’s so incredible how powerful exercise is for the mind.
my #pimpinJOY bag finally arrived. which is about spreading good things and thoughts to one another. so very fitting to arrive on a day that is about our fight against bullying.
my residential design class was starting back up and the excitement of almost being graduated ensued.

international-pink-day-

aaaand my happy was back. please don’t leave me again.

but it did. I think maybe only a day or two later and my friend sorrow swooped me back up. (but WHY?)

* * *  * *     **     *  * * * *    *    * * **        * ***      *********

the above note was written over 4 weeks ago. which was also supposed to be ready to post, 4 weeks ago. but the (above) emotional mess I was in + more physical illness (that I’m dealing with now) got in the way of that.

today I am finally able to reflect on what has happened and I’m putting my thoughts in to words. up until now I couldn’t bring myself to write. I kept putting it off cause my mind was so full. of everything. full of to-dos, and planning, and dreams, and ambitions, and cloudy judgements, and failure, and unachieved goals, and physical + mental stress and illness. full of gratitude. full of worry and challenges. anxiety. full of THOUGHTS. my mind is always full of thoughts. usually mostly positive ones! but this time, this round in this game of life, has been a little more challenging.

about 3 weeks ago I had an appointment to see my naturopath – it was supposed to be a quick appointment to go pick up a homeopathic treatment to get myself off the birth control pill, because apparently it’s a really bad thing to be on. and I’ve been on it for 12 years. and I’ve had colitis for almost 12 years…hmm. (I went on the pill for excruciating cramping)
interesting enough is every time I go in to a flare it’s right before my woman cycle starts. (more on that later.. I’m pretty sure there’s a theory there).
so this 15 minute appointment turned in to a 2 hour therapy session. everything that’s been weighing on my mind and heart, the emotional stress that I apparently had bottled up, all unloaded on to my poor doctor.  I guess I was just mentally and physically exhausted from all the illness that seemed to be ongoing – flare numero uno started on Feb 14 and lasted for my entire vacation. then after my flare was done, my body was weak and  I caught a wicked flu/cold that lasted for almost 3 weeks (who knows, maybe I picked up a bad bacteria that took residence in my gut). then after that I got a ridiculous cold sore. after the cold sore was thru my tummy started bloating up really big (which was not normal even for colitis girl) and I was getting a pain in my lower abdomen when I had to go pee.
my body was exhausted. and so my immune system took a hike and left me for the wolves.

so bring on another flare why not!

and it’s bad this time. I can’t remember a time where I’ve ever had two flares back to back. except way back when – those were the days that the flares never actually stopped. those were the days of prednisone. this is my grade 12 grad photo. that I never ordered.

prednisone-face

speaking of prednisone. for those following the blog, remember back in March when I became desperate to have a half-decent vacation and I took prednisone to get out of my flare? well, yesterday I went for an MRI of the brain as part of an IBD research study. When I got there I had to sign some waivers and go through some prep checklists. one of the questions was – have you been on any steroids in the last 4 months? ah, YEAH. good ole pal, prednisone. so she said, sorry, we’re going to have to cancel and reschedule your MRI.
for the life of me I CANNOT UNDERSTAND why these questions were not asked prior to me making a special trip down to the hospital? especially in my condition! I asked her why it mattered if I had been on prednisone. and the answer is because it F* up my brain. in a nutshell : )
seriously though. the prednisone messes with the chemicals and the hormones in the brain.
and now I am quickly reminded how important the mind and body connection is. (and going a little easier on myself for the emotional mess I was in last month)

anyway, every flare is bad, but this one is bad bad. bad like they used to be 10 years ago. it started at the end of April and it came out of nowhere. or so I thought. my first mistake this time around was pretending like it wasn’t happening. I was in mega denial that it was happening again. ESPECIALLY because last year I went an entire year in remission and now this year I’ve had TWO flares already? and only a month apart? wth.
(so yes, I was in denial.)
At the very first sign of a flare I have to reeeeallly tighten up my diet. and that means NO COFFEE. and I love my coffee so that’s a really painful one. and it also means no roughage – no nuts or seeds, raw veggies, anything that is hard/crunchy etc.  it also means, no cheating – when I was in remission last year I was able to have the foods/drinks that I should be staying away from…  dairy, gluten, potatoes, popcorn, alcohol + more. anyway, the flare started and I continued to have my coffee like a moron. 4 days later I accepted what was happening and said my goodbyes to Joe. I started pureeing all my food to give my intestines a break – when I go in to a flare-up they are raw and full of open bleeding sores. so yeah, liquid food, not so fun. a week in to the flare and only eating ‘liquid’, I was getting worse. so the liquid diet thing must not be helping then, right? WHO KNOWS. but I convinced myself that it wasn’t and went back to eating more solid (but soft) foods. by the start of last week I was falling a part in every way. I was going running to the washroom 20 + times a day, my brain started working weirdly, and I was still trying to go to work. which I know wasn’t a good thing – I was overdoing it but we had an event coming up that I thought was more important than my health? or something stupid like that. STEP ONE in curing any illness is REST. so I’ve been off work since last Wednesday (missed the event and all that insignificant stuff.. in the big scheme of things) and I’ve been getting lots of rest which in itself has been very beneficial. when I’m in a flare as bad as this one, a simple glass of water will make me sick. every time I leave the washroom, I only have enough energy to go lay my head back down. when I saw my naturopath last week he said I was on the way to anemia from all the blood I was losing (remember I go in to flares also when my cycle starts. yes, FUN TIMES) so he gave me a B12 shot which gave me my energy back for about 2 hours. I really should have gone for blood work because my iron was probably for sure low. I’ve just been so sick of so many dr. appointments. all I wanted was to lay on the couch and get lost in someone else’s world on tv. my brain was paralyzed. a glass of water was enough to make me run to the washroom. and after running to the washroom 20 + time I’m pretty much just passing blood and rubbing my tummy over and over praying for the pain to stop. sorry for the TMI (too much info) but I have to be careful not to sugarcoat this disease. a really big struggle of mine is dealing with an invisible disease. when people say to me, oh you don’t look sick, that hurts. a lot. and this disease is a tough one to talk about. but after 11 years I’ve finally found the courage. I will try to be the voice for so many who can’t speak about it. you are not alone and I hope pray you find this blog.

The major game changer for me in healing this particular flare has been a very very powerful probiotic I started last Tuesday. I’ve known about it for quite some time now but never tried it before because it is very expensive. and it’s not covered by insurance. It’s called VSL#3 and the pharmacy orders it in. It’s $114 for 30 packets. I would recommend it to anyone suffering with gut problems. If you can afford it, it’s worth the try! there are a lot of testimonials out there  –  it’s even being used for Autism and some have noticed a significant difference  (that also includes being on a specific diet)
I started with 1 pack per day but quickly upped it to 1 + 1/2 packs a day because of how much of a positive difference it was making in my gut. it only took two days of being on this stuff  that I started to noticed an incredible difference. Today I’ve been on it for 1 week and am going to start taking 2 packs per day to try and get me out of this flare quicker.  I was taking one before bed and FINALLY started sleeping through the night. so now I’m also going take one first thing when I wake up.

colitis-flare-remedies
my ulcerative colitis flare-up fixes: cognitive behaviour therapy (don’t STRESS), sweet snuggles, and VSL#3!!!

the two very big changes I had made to my diet a year ago was eliminating gluten and adding bone broth bone broth bone broth. this is what I believe played a big part in keeping me in remission for that entire year. (exercise and stress are two other key components). What took me out of remission (and lead me to the flare in Feb / the flare that just keeps on givin’) was chronic stress [about something specific] and not following my diet. I had two alcohol ‘binges’ 13 days apart. SO ridciulous of me. but heck did we have fun! ;-) (not so worth it now)

I’ve been on asacol for 11 years.(and that scares the shit out of me – LOL no pun intended) this is a drug used for maintenance and for flare-ups. so when I’m in remission I take 3 800 mg pills per day. when I have a flare-up I take 6 of these pills. this medication is specifically designed to only ‘open’ when it reaches the intestine. and yesterday I found 3 unopened/undigested pills in the toilet. so yeah. my digestive system is still broken.

so the mayhem continues. it actually all started around the time I started this blog. which is kind of ironic because one of the reasons I started this blog was because of how well I was doing with my colitis. and wanted to help others. funny, I want to help others and I can’t even help myself.
that’s not true. but sometimes it’s easy to believe.

aside from being a little broken [physically] at the moment, I am happy to report that my sweet friend sorrow has left me. which is a perfect sign that I am slowly healing. (they say the gut is our second brain. and these IBD research studies I’m involved in are studying the brain. I am VERY happy that is being studied ) I am also so so thankful for all the support I have from my family, friends, and colleagues. impromptu visits with Kate and my Mase man <3, my (better be future) sis-in-law did my grocery shopping for me last week. bless her. my boss and colleagues are so caring and understanding – they’ve got my back and have been stepping in for me. what a great team. a very sweet lady I’ve only met once, texted me her work schedule and said to call her for whatever I need (SO kind). my instructor is an angel and has been so accommodating with all the classes I’ve been missing.  my mom, my hero. she is still taking care of me like she did when I was a child. except now she has two kitchens to clean! ha ha. messages from friends and fam checking in on me. it all means SO MUCH to me and I THANK YOU.

as long as we have love in this world, everything will be okay.

-always with a grateful heart,

j

 

It was worth it, take a break!

image

Hola,

I’m still going through vacation withdrawal… Sorry everyone and to Jenna for being so M.I.A lately with the blog, I’ve been hectic lately, but that is no excuse. But I want to share with you something that I’ve recently realized.

So Ty and I went away to Mexico for my best friends wedding at the end of February. It was sooooooo beautiful, oh my goodness I can’t say enough good things about it. The day was so beautiful, she was absolutely stunning and everything just went so great (maybe too much tequila, who remembers anyway). Everyone was so welcoming to and friendly.

So to backtrack a little bit here I hadn’t been away from Mason yet over two nights. I went through a lot of emotions I must say before we left. I knew I was ready for a break, I think most parents can admit they are ready for a break too. I just felt so guilty though. I tried explaining to Mason everyday that he was going to have a lot of sleep overs with Meme, Pepe and Parker. I’m pretty sure he understood. The day we left I was full of mixed emotions. I was trying to understand how I can go an entire week without kissing him or hugging him. Going away for some reason felt wrong, because I was leaving him. Usually you are so excited for a trip. I think a lot of parents out there can relate to this feeling that I was feeling.

When we got off that plane though and I smelt the hot Mexico sun with a beer in my hand,  and a handsome stud(Tyler) beside me. I can truly say that my feelings suddenly changed. I realized holy cow I am on vacation, with Tyler ALONE and it’s hot here and we are ALONE!!!!!! This is something we haven’t had since before I was pregnant with Mase man. It felt like it had been eternity since we had that. Once we got to our resort everything felt pretty right, I mean how couldn’t it. The week went amazing out in Mexico, the wedding was perfect and my time alone with my man was so great. Listening to the waves hit the sand was the most relaxing sound for me. Plus we would FaceTime Mason and he was the most happy with my parents. He didn’t even seem to miss us actually!

I can’t believe that I was feeling so guilty about leaving Mason. For all the parents who’ve never taken a break from their baby I strongly recommend it, you sure do deserve it. We never stop working ever and I realized that it is SOOOO okay to ask someone for a helping hand and to take a break. It made me a better Mom. Everyday away from Mason we missed him so incredibly much but it was a good miss. We weren’t sad and plus FaceTime is the greatest! The best part was when we got home, he was waiting in the Airport with my AWESOME parents and when we saw him we both broke down. I think I maybe was hyper-ventilating. I only realized how much I missed him when I actually saw him and held him. It was the greatest feeling I had ever felt, my heart was so warm. Love was exploding out of me. Ty was in the exact same boat as I was in, we looked like ridiculous people in the airport but that is okay! Mason has been so great since we’ve been back. He is kinda all grown up too. He finally got rid of his “tootie” (soother) cause he tells us he is a big boy now. I think that we all needed a bit of a break including Mason, it was really good for him to be away from us and with his grandparents.

The meaning of my blog today is so that I never forget to take a break and ask for help because I have finally come to realization that I get tired, and I can’t do everything either. I deserve a break too. I know a lot of my friends who are parents forget to take time for themselves and I have been there too and it is so easy to get caught up in that same routine way of things always doing things for everyone else before yourself.  My motivation today is to take a break, and to keep doing things for myself!

Lots of Love,

Kate

my ‘coming out’ post. ulcerative colitis.

*yesterday*
sitting here up in the sky, flying away from all the busy and hectic, I have finally found a moment to just focus and really think. think about how I want to officially come out and talk about my important ‘why’ for this blog.  it’s been 4 weeks since we started this blog and I’ve been waiting for, or searching for, or planning for, frick I dunno, the “right” moment to just come out and say it. or maybe i’m trying to find the courage? i’m kinda scared I think? going back and forth in my brain wondering if this whole blog thing was even a good idea to begin with. scared to put myself out there and share all this private stuff. and for nothing maybe? what if no one listens..or cares? what if no one believes? and all this DOUBTING… is not my style either. geeze. jenna. just believe!! ;-) [Side note: just believe World is a company that I co-founded back in 2010 and then life got in the way and it got put on the backburner. I still have plans for it. and big dreams.] 

maybe I thought my first post about {this} would be me sharing my celebration with you. celebrating the first time **ever** going a whole entire year in remission. maybe that’s what I was waiting for…. for that one year milestone. but then it never came. cause another flare-up attacked instead. when it happened this feeling of defeat and sadness took over.  but then someone reminded me, that even though I may not have made it to my one year mark, I have not failed. I am like two weeks short of going a whole year without a flare – and that is amazing!! (in the last 8 years, except this last year obviously, it was typical for me to have 2-3 flares per year. and the first 4 years of this disease it felt like the flares were one after the other. I was a very sick girl.)

the last two weeks have been a little chaotic to say the least. chaotic with this flare-up, work, school, projects, unexpected shit, family time || *life* . right now, I’m on my way to Mesa, Arizona which has been a planned trip for some time but is turning out to be a much needed escape. i’ve left the worries and the exhaustion and hopefully the illness, behind.  (environment does make a difference)

so here it is. when I say flare-up, I am talking about colitis. I have ulcerative colitis. and I have come a long long way in the last 11 years that i’ve been fighting this battle. i’m pretty much to the point where I can almost say that I control this disease and it does not control me.    >>> I control this disease. it does not control me <<<    ….for those that fight this fight, you know that that statement is HUGE + bold. and you may even think i’m crazy and that it’s not possible. if someone would have told me that 8 years ago, that I could have control over this disease, I think  I would have been skeptical.

*today*
well I am happy to report that Mesa has welcomed me back with arms wide open. SO. bleepin HAPPY to be here. time for the healing to begin! this morning I found an AMAZING grocery store called Sprouts Farmers Market – this place is like a dream come true for a girl like me: *fresh*health*organic*devil-free, like my brother puts it, ha ha (gluten-free)*so.many.options/selection*  if only Winnipeg had a place like this. damn I love the states.

for those reading this who feel like they are suffering, it is my wish that you too can live a great story despite having colitis. I would really like to share with you what I have learned.

for those reading that don’t know what colitis is, i’m hoping to spread awareness. to give a voice to this invisible disease. the way my first specialist explained it to me: it’s like someone took a cheese grater to the inside of your intestines. and then they just don’t work. and you bleed and you hurt and you can’t eat/drink and you’re weak + more.

tbc cause I need some zzzzzzzzz’s.

-me

(to get a better understanding of this post, read my first post.) 

 

going for it. i’m gonna start a blog?

okay, this is me. Jenna.

and this is my first blog post. well kind of. not completely true because I did attempt to write one with just believe World  and mymomissingle.com and then I learned that blogs are hard. because they take a lot of time and work. and you need to write some good ass shit.

So this is technically my first blog post I guess, here, on this site, and it could potentially be my last! and here’s why…

because of Kate. she’s my cousin. my friend. my mini me || my baby sister. (the sister I never had) and without her, this (blog) won’t happen. because she has to do it with me. cause she’s super and fearless. because I can’t do it without her. because we are a lot alike and we can fuel each other. support and motivate. because two is always better than one (something I only learned in the last year. hard to believe, yes.) Kate is an incredible person and she has a lot to offer. and we all love her. She’s beautiful, tough, smart, funny + more. a lot more.

so perhaps the next important tidbit: she really has no clue about this site!  I just whipped it up thinking that if I already had the site created and named after her, that it would make it harder for her to turn me down. clever, I know ;-)

and now you ask, well why the blog in the first place? well. aside from the obvious reason, (cause we do fun and happy really really well together) here’s a big part of my why, peeps:

In the 28 years of my pretty darn awesome life, I’ve learned so much. and even more in this last year and a half, i’ve learned a lot about myself and life. >>> life lessons about myself and others, our expectations and perspectives. I’ve learned about my health (in a huge way), about doing heartache and happiness at the same time, about vulnerability. I’ve learned about my failures, but more about my strengths. In the last 7 days I’ve been placed in four or five different powerful, meaningful, moments of inspiration and affirmation. I feel like these moments are PUSHING me. they are my sign. For those of you who know me (probably the only people reading this) you know that I’m a fairly passionate person and I have so many ideas always brewing and goals and big big VISONS. and I believe I am on the perfect path to achieve it all – whatever I set my heart out to do. and this blog could be part of my journey to get there.

Last Friday I was indulging in some red red wine – organic, of course- with two of my girlfriends/famfriends/besties and we got to talking about a very important topic near and dear to my entire being. and then wam-bam-crazy-ma’am, out comes that passionate heated person that you all know. (jenna/me).  we were having this discussion (or maybe I was more like preaching) about stupid medicine and powerful foods and *positivity* and healing and how I’ve been fighting this disease for 11 years now and have gained SO much insight and knowledge. and now have the tools to be WELL ||side note: When I start talking about something I care about and believe in deep down to my core, I get dramatic and loud and crazy. ((crazy in a fun way))|| I was very convincing to these two ladies that I did for sure know what I was talking about. and was for sure passionate about it. so naturally, they wondered if maybe I should consider a career change in that direction? but I’m perfectly happy with what I do now and I don’t have a desire to be in the healthcare industry. but. so what. that doesn’t mean I still won’t be able to share what I know. so then maybe that’s why I started thinking of this blog. (only yesterday morning while I was brushing my teeth, btw. so when I said, ‘whipped together’…) Anyway it’s been weighing on me for a while now- to know that from my experiences and trials+errors that I hold some powerful (possibly life-changing) information that could help and save others fighting the exact same battle. I know the pain. the exhaustion. the hopelessness. the hospital beds and morphine, the steroids, the fear.  for me it has been a blessing in disguise and I thank God for the hand I was dealt. but for some, they are still living that way. and that breaks my heart.

and all of this also really scares me. in order to help, I will have to put myself out there and talk about something that, for the most part, has been a fairly personal and private ‘issue’ matter in my life.

Anyway. that is an important piece to my why for this blog >  I want to help those who don’t know what they don’t know. I want to inspire people to live a great story, despite the battle they are fighting. and remember, my loves: for anything that has challenged you in life.. You’re not struggling or suffering through it. You’re fighting through it. and you’re kicking it’s ass. with that perspective, that mindset alone, you’re half way there (at ass-kicking).

Kate has fought some good battles herself and her strength is inspiring.

This blog could also be an outlet for us to share all things worth sharing. If only to make you laugh or smile. that will be worth it. sharing our creativity, business ideas, a way to connect with people. and of course it is DEFinitely for all things fun and silly. and crazy. (crazy in a fun way.)

…a place for us to inspire or to be inspired.

Who knows. At this point I am not certain where this blog will go but I do believe it has the potential to make an impact and that it will organically unfold to what it’s meant to be.

that is if Kate is with me! Please do me/us a favour and like this post if you don’t want it to be the last ;-).  Visit the ‘say hi’ page if you’d like to send us a quick email.

So, Kate. will you be my blogmate?

– love me (jenna)

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